


Memory Thieves

by madameseahorse



Series: The Burden of the Past [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cannibalism, Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/F, F/M, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg, Past Mpreg, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Titan Shifters, True Love, did, soul mates, the coordinate, titan shifter village
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 16:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4753910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madameseahorse/pseuds/madameseahorse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ymir loves Historia. She loves her with all of her heart. All of her being, be it human or titan, loves Historia. Misses her. Wants her. No one else will do, especially not some muscly enemy of humanity who can't decide who he half the time. Yet, after retreating to Shinganshina, she begins to feel things that are inspired by memories...that are not hers.<br/>She just HAD to eat a gay titan boy, didn't she?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ymir and Reiner

Ymir awoke with a start. Drenched in sweat and wet between her legs, she cursed under her breath.  
Really? Going into heat in the middle of nowhere with two idiot men? And it wasn't just a heat. It was her first heat.  
She had not been sexually mature sixty years ago. Her mother said she was a late bloomer. After being stuck as a mindless beast for sixty years, she became human again. The world may have changed, but she did not. Yes, she had had periods before she was a titan. Only a few, since living outside the walls with titans everywhere and resources scarce did not make for optimum baby-making conditions. Ymir figured her eggs must have all cooked. It was nice. Sure, no babies, but it wasn't like her girlfriend had any sperm to fertilize them with (the mere thought of a male Historia made her nose crinkle in disgust). Plus, she never had to worry about getting bloodstains on those damn white uniform pants or about her blood evaporating and not leaving stains (who knows which would have been more awkward?).

So why now? Maybe she had a sexy dream?  
Closing her eyes, she tried to remember her dream.

===========================================================================

They ran through the field of wild grass. Their teacher yelled at them to not go so far, but they did not listen.

Reiner tackled her and they wrestled for a few moments. The instructor, now furious, stomped around, promising certain death if she did not come back this instant. The blond tried to put a hand to her mouth, but he couldn't keep her quiet and down at the same time.  
Panicking, he used the next best option to shut her up. He kissed her.  
It wasn't supposed to be a romantic kiss. There was no time for romance in this world. Yet, the feel of his mouth on hers makes her feel a strange feeling. It is not nearly as strange as earlier when she was injected with the serum in front of the old woman in the town square, her body too small and weak-looking to be chained down. 

Then everything had gone black.

That was why they were in the field. Yet, she forgot this as she began to kiss Reiner back. She forgot how she blacked out. How when she came to, all that remained of the babbling old woman was a surprising large smear of blood and broken chains.

"It's okay," he said, his voice shaky.

She wanted to say it was not okay. For as much as she wanted to kiss him again, she didn't trust herself not to devour him. He saw her transform. How could he just look at her like that?

"You kissed me."

He shrugged.

"Well, you are my mate, remember? I mean, we are promised to each other," the soon-to-be Armored Titan said sheepishly.

"We should probably get back," she said.

Reiner nodded. He stood up and offered her a shaky hand.

===========================================================================

"Damn it!" she swore, not bothering to keep her voice down. This wasn't some random dream: It was a memory, and it wasn't even hers. It belonged to that friend of Reiner and Bertoldt's that she apparently ate five years ago.

Why did it chose to resurface? She knew Historia's family had the power to influence people's memories. Yet, Ymir had had plenty of contact with her girlfriend. She was her girlfriend, after all. But why now? The last time she touched Historia had been almost thirty-six hours ago.

Maybe touching her with her titan form made his memories surface? She never really spent much time with Reiner before this flustercluck. He and the boy must have meant something to each other.

Enough that one would sacrifice his life for the other to live.

Maybe she should ask Reiner about his friend. After all, without his sacrifice, Ymir would not be here. And she would not have any humanity left.


	2. Chapter 2

A loud series of shouts interrupted her thoughts. She looked around, expecting to see that monkey titan, perhaps in his human form. He was the last person she wanted to see at the moment.  
Instead, she saw Reiner forcibly shoved out of the boys’ tent. Ymir’s breathe caught, surprised to see him.  
Speak of the devil, and he shall appear, apparently, she said to herself. Or dream of him.  
Bertoldt’s hand followed by his face appeared at the tent’s opening.  
“And stay out. I can’t sleep with all your thrashing,” he scolded before pulling the tent flap shut as if he was slamming a door.  
Ymir watched Reiner stumble around her, past her, and a little too close to the edge of the wall.  
She leapt up and grabbed him.  
“Whoa, there, big guy. I didn’t save you at my own expense just to have you fall off Wall Maria.”  
He looked at her, a wild look in his eyes, similar to the look as she had explained his madness to Eren three days ago. Had it only been three days? Had it been at least three days? She didn’t know and couldn’t expect a decent answer from Reiner. A man who didn’t know who he was half of the time couldn’t be expected to know what day it was.  
His expression scared her, and, in her current state, made her mad with want.  
“Heh,” he barked as he finally got his bearings.  
“You all right?” she asked.  
“Bertoldt says he can’t sleep, but I’m pretty sure he was asleep when he kicked me out.”  
“Rude,” she laughed politely.  
Reiner waved his free hand dismissively.  
“He won’t even remember in the morning. Can you imagine?”  
“Not remembering something?”  
“Right. Uh, you can let go of my arm now.”  
“Huh?”  
“Ymir, you alright? You’re a little scary right now.”  
She stammered, trying to find an answer. Any answer besides the truth would work.  
Oh, hell. She was already screwed. Might as well be honest with him.  
“Were you mates with the friend of ours that I, uh, your comrade?"  
“Bertoldt? Like checkmates? He’s pretty good at chess.”  
“No, the other one.”  
He opened his mouth.  
“Not Annie, either.”  
“Please. Annie could kick my ass at anything.”  
“Forget about chess! That guy! The one you kissed after he became a titan. The one who had guilt about being a warrior!”

Reiner stared at her. He could be a smart ass, but was too shocked by this turn of events.  
“I thought you couldn’t remember eating anyone.”  
“I don’t, but I had this dream about you kissing me or whoever after he became a warrior. Your commander was a maggot or something and you kissed him?”  
“Magath.”  
“What?”  
“Magath, not maggot. He is our commander.” He shook his head. Magath was kind of a maggot.  
“Never mind him. You saw that? Like as a memory? It has to be a memory. No one else knew about that. Annie suspected it, but I never told anyone I kissed him.”  
“Don’t worry. I haven’t either. I just had that damn dream once just now.” The hand that grabbed him trailed down his arm to his right hand, her thumb gently rubbing against the regenerated skin.  
“Your hand is soft,” she said softly.  
“Well, Mikasa cut off my hand when I revealed myself. Took all my roughness with it.”  
“Weird.” But she didn’t seem disgusted.  
“You probably like soft skin, like Krista?”  
“Who?”  
“My God. You’re in heat.”  
Ymir’s gentleness faded instantly and she glared at him so fiercely that he almost flashed back to that day five years ago.  
“Heat? What am I, a dog?” she snapped.  
“No, it’s a titan thing. Basically, we tend to be infertile, since we are titans. Our instructors said it was so we wouldn’t mate too much.”  
Sure, and yet they love having plenty of us running around so they can use us as weapons.  
“But our bodies are fertile when we go into heat. Not sure why. My mentor said that it helps us feel connected to our fellow warriors and be able to leave something good behind, if we do conceive.”  
“And they allow that?”  
“They turn us young so that we are less likely to develop our reproductive organs. My mentor was a bit bitter with the Marleyans. When he drank, he talked about heats and mating. He claimed he had a baby after he was turned into a titan.”  
“Like Loki.”  
Reiner nodded.  
“You know that story?”  
“Yes. Now, how do you get rid of this heat?” She already knew the answer. She knew the moment she woke up, craving Reiner’s touch. Even now, she didn’t let go of his hand.  
“Did you and your comrade ever, you know?”  
Her voice was low, seductive, almost.  
It’s a voice she should be using on Krista, not me, he thought. He knew Ymir didn’t really want him. She was gay. He was gay.  
“You don’t want to do this with me, Ymir.”  
“You didn’t answer my question.”  
They never had sex. Marcel was eleven when he was given Jaw Titan. Reiner was ten. Sure, they shared that kiss. Yes, they marked each other. They planned to lose their virginity to each other. They even considered having child. When Marcel inherited the Power of the Titans, he also inherited his predecessor’s vagina. It wasn’t common for a shifter’s human form to be physically changed like that, but it wasn’t unheard of.  
“You’re not him,” he said weakly.  
“I know. You’re not exactly my type, either.” Reluctantly, she let go of his hand and turned away.  
Only to have Reiner grab her hand.  
“I know I’m not your type, but I’d be honored to share a heat with you. Going through heats alone is agony. Trust me. I know.” He leaned in closer.  
Ymir wouldn’t remember who kissed whom first, but suddenly their lips were touching. Mouths parted to grant access to the other. Part of Ymir was remembering how Reiner’s lips tasted when he kissed her in the field. How sweet they were compared to the taste of the old woman’s blood, even though she couldn’t remember how it tasted when she took her power. Did he enjoy the kiss because Reiner was still human at the time? Could this Power of the Titans ruin even this moment?  
Another part of her wanted to cry because she was not kissing her Historia.  
As if reading her mind, Reiner pulled away enough to say something:  
“You can pretend I’m someone else. I am.”  
“Yeah?” Which person are you, I wonder.  
He laid her down a safe distance away from the edge and went to kiss her again.  
“Wait.” Ymir rolled him over so she was on top.  
“You know what this is?” she asked, patting the wall.  
“The wall that Bertoldt kicked a hole in?”  
“Yes. If you get me pregnant, I will jump off this wall. Depending on how I feel towards you at the time, I might take you with me.”  
He nodded, understanding in his lusty eyes.  
“Whatever you say, Marcel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is safe to assume that they did the do. I might not write them having sex because I don't know how many people would appreciate an Ymir/Reiner sex scene. Drop me a comment if anyone would like such a scene. Maybe I can update sooner than two years this time lol.


	3. Chapter 3

To her surprise, Reiner was nowhere to be seen when she woke up. For a moment, Ymir wondered if she dreamed up everything.  
She wasn’t in the crappy tent she fell asleep in on top of the wall Bertoldt kicked a hole in five years ago. Her clothes were gone, and someone had covered her with a ratty blanket.

Ymir sat up. A man with curly blond hair and a scruffy beard sat beside the fire, stoking in with a stick. Judging by the faint burns around his eyes, he was a titan.

He turned, glasses glinting in the early morning sun.

“Cigarette?”

“Huh?”

He got out a metal case from his pants pocket.

“They’re supposed to be better after sex. I know. They might kill me before being a titan does.”

So, he must be the monkey guy. And he knew she had slept with Reiner. That was terrifying and embarrassing.

He handed her the case. Ymir accepted it and pulled out a cigarette out.

“Huh.”

“What?” he asked.

“W-well, I’m surprised that they didn’t burn. Titans have high body temperatures.” She handed the case back, trying not to let her hand tremble.

“I had it specially made. Female, Jaw or Coordinate?”

“I don’t understand.”

“You could also be the Attack titan, too. I’d have to give you a big kiss if you were.”

The tent flap rustled and Bertoldt came out. Ymir wouldn’t admit it, but she was she lucky that he was awake. She didn’t want to be alone with this guy.

“Hey, Bertoldt. Which titan am I?” she called.

“Jaw. Or Mandible.”

The bearded man nodded, looking slightly disappointed.

“Too bad. Although, I always wondered what it would take to make Reiner like a girl.”

Ymir wondered why it was too bad. At least the Beast Titan wouldn’t be kissing her.

Bertoldt blinked, finally noticing the man. His knees gave out, but the bearded man caught him.

“What, you been drinking? You know that will kill you.”

Bertoldt chuckled weakly, burying his face in the man’s shoulder despite being almost three inches taller. He almost looked small.

“I’m glad to see you, Mr. Zeke.”

He patted his back.

“Same.”

Bertoldt looked around. His sleepiness evaporated, and he looked panicked.

“Where’s Reiner?”

“Right here.”

They turned to see Reiner in his 3d-mg gear, a dead goose in one hand and a canteen in the other.

“Figured I’d make breakfast. Hope I didn’t worry anyone.”

“I’m just glad Ymir didn’t eat you,” he laughed nervously.

“I think he’d rather eat her,” Mr. Zeke muttered, winking at Reiner.

“Whatever,” Reiner huffed, but with no real malice. He handed Zeke the goose.

“You can cook.”

“Aww,” he complained, but took the goose and went to the fire.

“Got you some water.”

Ymir smiled at the canteen being offered to her.

“And it only took two days.”

“I’m thirsty, too,” Bertoldt murmured. She had the feeling that Reiner would have normally given his comrade the water first. The Colossal Titan seemed to think so, too.

“You can have some after Ymir.”

“Fine,” he sighed, holding up his hands in defense. He sounded irritated. 

This made Ymir wonder about their relationship. They were comrades on a mission to destroy humanity. They were friends who looked out for each other. Reiner was older and wanted to protect Bertoldt even though he did not always know who he himself was. That day in the Forest of Giant Trees, Bertoldt was the one who had to remind Reiner of their mission and their true nature.

But were they romantically involved? They shared a bunk during training, but so did other pairs of heterosexual boys. The Training Corps did not have money in the budget for everyone to have their own bunk.

Not that Ymir cared. She got to share her bunk with Historia.

Bertoldt cleared his throat, looking pointedly at the canteen.

“Sorry. Geez, you sure are sassy,” she teased, handing him the canteen.

“I didn’t sleep well last night. Kept having troubling dreams.”

“About that guy hanging himself? You haven’t had that one in a while,” Reiner commented.

“No, it wasn’t that dream, which I had before Trost,” he pointed out, “No, it was all these weird moans and groans.” He took a large drink.

“Like a sex dream?” Reiner winked at Ymir, who giggled.

“I feel you. I had the same dream last night.”

“You got more than that. Oh, I found some clothes. They should fit you.” He handed her a pair of dusty old pair of pants and a tunic she hoped was stained with chocolate.

“Thanks.”

He squeezed her shoulder.

“No worries, Marcy. I’d better help him with that goose.”

Bertoldt looked at Ymir skeptically.

“You didn’t.”

“Didn’t what, Bertl?”

He groaned.

“You two did have sex,” he whispered.

“Why, jealous?” she snapped, “He said that heats alone sucked, so I doubt you spent any with him.”

“I did. Once. Well, he wasn’t in heat. I was. Annie was not available, so he helped me.”

It had been more than once. They fooled around when they first joined the Cadet Corps. Exploring their bodies and finding pleasure in their miserable lives. It was stress relief. Yet, as Reiner’s soldier persona grew, his knowledge of titan shifter heats vanished.

“Reiner had three heats during the past five years. The first one I spent with him. The next he insisted to go through it alone. The last one he was in the hospital for a week because he didn’t know why he had a fever. The doctors thought his craziness was from the fever.”

“Craziness?”

“Something about his uncle having a baby. We’re lucky they thought it was just delirium from a high fever. Otherwise, I doubt he would have graduated.” He turned to Ymir.

“We sure know how to pick ‘em, don’t we?”

“Blondes, huh?” She wasn’t sure what he meant. Who was to say what anyone meant?

“I just hope you don’t get pregnant. No offense, but that will just mess more things up.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not pregnant. Trust me.”

Bertoldt frowned, confused.

“You’d better get dressed. Wait.” He crawled over to the tent and came back with another ratty blanket. He held it up so that she could get dressed without Zeke and Reiner seeing her.

“Ymir. It is Ymir, right?” Zeke came over. She was now dressed and was chatting with Bertoldt.

She nodded. He gestured to the forgotten cigarette by her hand.

“Need a light?”

“Oh. Sure.” She had never smoked before, but she did not want to be rude, especially to a man who could turn into a 17 meter-tall titan capable of such terrible destruction. She doubted she would live long enough to get lung cancer, anyways.

He held out his finger. Ymir was going to ask where his lighter was, but it was already lit.

“Never thought one of the perks of the titan power would be being your own lighter,” she mused.

“It comes in handy,” he said with a shrug.

Ymir took a puff. Man, it tasted bad!

“Wow,” she sputtered. Reiner laughed as he brought over the goose.

“How did that cook so fast?” she puzzled, coughing out the rest of the smoke.  
“We’ve been talking for like an hour, Ymir,” Bertoldt pointed out.

“Still got a bad sense of time?” Reiner asked sympathetically. It wasn’t a jab. Being a titan for sixty years had messed with her circadian rhythm. The last few days of discovery and running away had not helped.

“At least she knows who she is,” Bertoldt muttered.

“What’s that, Bert?”

“Nothing!”

They picked at the goose. It wasn’t very flavorful, but they were starving and had not eaten since Nanaba interrupted their lunch.  
Well, most of them.

“Hey, Reiner. How’d you get so good at oral?”

Bertoldt choked. Reiner answered:

“I’m good at written exams. Might as well be good at oral.”

She might have thought he was being literal, but the subtle blush on his cheeks gave him away.

**Author's Note:**

> Man, it feels weird to write smut, especially when I don't ship it. However, I am intrigued by the concept of how a titan shifter's stolen memories would affect the person who stole them. Could they love people they normally would not? Would they act on their ill-gotten memories?  
> I also love Reiner and his character development so far. His dissassociation will be difficult to write, but I want to explore it as well as his relationship with Ymir. After all, it can't be that easy to forgive the woman who took your love away.  
> Also, it is tagged as underage because of the idea of Reiner and Marcel in the past. Reiner was twelve in 845. Who knows how old Marcel was? My headcanon is that they were encouraged to be sexual, even at young ages, because they 1)might not live long, 2)they might be older than they look, and 3)whoever they got their powers from might have been older/sexually active and, therefore, so were they.  
> Might become a series. We shall see. Comments are welcome. :3


End file.
